Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Boys, boys, boys...

Warning: Parental Discrection is Advised....

Boys boys boys
We like boys in cars
Boys boys boys
Buy us drinks in bars
Boys boys boys
With hairspray and denim
Boys boys boys
We love them!
We love them!

(Picture of a very cute boy from one of my favorite websites The Satorialist http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/)

So, I've been having issues with boys lately...and when I say boys, I really mean boys, and not men. I mean, its totally plausable that the reason I'm having problems with boys is where I currently live. Reason number 894578934789827897892578925787878458458 (do you get the point?) I need to move. Obviously boys are not guaranteed to be better any where else, but hey, perhaps with a bigger pond there will be one or two nice goldfish out there instead of toolbag blowfishes.

Ok, so the main purpose of this post is to complain yet laugh about my current boy situation. Let me tell you, when it rains, it pours. So since i moved out, I've been on a few dates with two guys and then two guys from my past have creeped up back into the picture. Now, I really don't want anything to do with them anyways (well, duh, I plan on moving) its just fun to have my time occupied. However, two of them are extreemly needy. E-X-T-R-E-E-M-L-Y needy. Like one whined and complained -I even expected a two year old tantrum complete with fists hitting the ground- that I wouldn't make time in my busy schedule for him. UM, HELLO, we've only been on two dates, you should feel lucky and blessed to even get ONE day in my life right now.

How bout you grow some fucking gonads why don't you???

And then the other one is making it no fun because he's obviously smitten with me already...where's the fun in that??? You can't already be like "I like you so much!", "you really intrigue me", "you are so awesome!". Well, I mean, I do know that but you aren't supposed to jump the gun and fall in love with me. I know, its hard to resist, but please try :) And then don't think you are going to impress me with all this talk about what you do for the military. Oh god, don't get me started on that...

Get a life mother fucker.

But really, there is no pleasing me. I left Nick because he was not paying ANY attention to me at home or in public and would completely ignore me for his dog, tv, and computer (ALL three at once too!) and now I'm complaining that someone wants to spend more time with me. I guess the moral of the story is that if I want to spend time with you, please pay attention to me. If I'm not, then please take a number and get to the back of the line.

NEXT! Number 44 please move to the front of the line....

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