Overheard on the Bus 1st Edition

So as part of my car free diet, I’ve been taking the bus to and from DC to Hampton to visit my boyfriend and my Hampton girls. Overall, I must say that it's not terrible, however I mean the bus does stop and pick up from Hampton…and all of the trash that goes along with it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Hampton but the cream of the crop does NOT live there. I mean, at least I don’t physically have to deal with the traffic or the cost of the gas to and from, and it's nice not getting road rage and screaming at the other drivers like I normally do. The bus is crowded and mostly full from DC to Richmond but the hour from Richmond to Hampton is pretty nice, I usually get the seat to myself. However, the traffic getting into Richmond to drop off people by the train station is literally stop and go because of traffic. And then of course the normal Friday night traffic, sometimes I get in after midnight which is exhausting. It takes about 5 hours for me to get from Hampton to home in my apartment because the bus itself is 4 hours and then because of weekend construction on the metro lines it takes me about another hour to get home. If I stopped being so cheap I’d get a cab home…but then again that’s the whole reason I’m taking the bus…because I’m too cheap for a $150 parking pass and then the cost of gas.

So anyways, on to the reason I wrote this post. I wanted to keep a running log of all the things I hear on the bus. This shit is CRAZY I tell you, straight fuckin’ crazy. Two weeks ago I had to listen to this ghetto lady talk, no scream, into her cell phone from Richmond to Hampton…a whole freaking hour’s worth. In case you needed further clarification, no one needs to know or wants to know about so and so losing their virginity to their cousin (ew first cousin sex!!!!) And then how slut girl called cell phone girl a skank. PRICELESS. WOW.

And then last week I watched this guy try to pick up this other chick on this bus:

Dude: “Yo…do you ride this bus often?”

Girl: “Yeah I ride this bus down to Hampton to visit my boyfriend.” (You’d think he’d have gotten the hint from that, but sadly, no)

Dude: “Oh really. Where do you live? What do you do?”

Girl: Blah Blah Blah- I don’t remember what she said here.

Dude: blah blah blah, he blabbed something else “I just graduated Hampton and I’m going to be a pro football player.”

Girl: “So what do you plan to do if you don’t make pro-football?”

Dude: “Nah, I’m straight up going to make it. Let me get your digits if you catch this ride often.”

She obviously couldn’t give him the wrong number because he had his phone out and was literally going to call her so she could have his digits too. Wow. You just can’t make this shit up. Highly entertaining until the ghetto grates on your nerves at 11pm at night and you’re exhausted and you just want to get off the moving bus that sometimes gets me car sick. Ugh.

Gag. Ew and I sat next to this girl one time who literally smelled like B.O. I mean, I know it's 90 degrees outside but wear some freaking deodorant!!!! Hahahah and there was this one time I watched this like 40 year old man watch the Sponge Bob Square Pants movie. Wow. Classic.

Sometimes I think it might be worth the $33 dollar one way tickets on the train hahahaha. Almost. Give me some time, I might have to change over.

I mean, this craziness doesn’t just apply to the bus…I’ve seen some crazy shit on the metro too. I was riding up the mile long Rosslyn station escalator (no joke, it really does seem like it. On the way down you kind of feel like you’re descending down in to the depths of hell…well, actually you could equate the metro to hell, so there you go I guess...but I digress). Well, this asian dude was riding down, holding up a piece of paper screaming to anyone who would listen that he got an A on his final. Seriously?!?!?! Wow. And then, get this…I saw a blind guy on crutches?!?!?! WTF? Man, that sucks. Wow. I mean that’s really sad, but I mean I guess it happens. I felt so sorry for him, he obviously had his walking stick sticking out of his backpack and then he was walking super super slow and cautiously. I mean, that really sucked. I wish I could have helped him…but really, what could I have done?

My Perfect House

I found my next house!!!!! OMG I want to live here! I spotted this house and took a picture creeper style outside of the Walter Reed base in Northern DC. I wanted to back up and get a better picture but I already looked like a freak taking a picture of it in the first place!

WICKED

So for the third time I am super excited to announce that I’m going to see Wicked again this weekend!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!!! This was my very first musical, and I even got to see it in London. I remember the first time I saw it, I sat amazed at the glamour, the sparkle, the amazing overwhelming cast and singing. Now, I’d never been to a musical or a play at intermission I thought that it was over…and I was okay with that. Little did I know that I was in for more! It was almost more than I could handle. I was in awe. The second time was JUST as amazing. Now, I’ve seen a few shows in between from that first time until now (Hairspray, Grease, Les Miserables, Radio City Hall Rockettes, Rock of Ages, Sweeney Todd, Riverdance, Afrika Afrika, etc) and it's still by far my favorite. The second time I saw the show in Norfolk with my mom. Now, she’s not really into musicals or anything so she didn’t really enjoy herself, but that’s a whole other blog post. It was more that she was spending time with her daughter.

This time I will see it in DC at the Kennedy Center. I spent an hour trying to get tickets the day they came on sale but the KC’s website crashed and caused a whole lot of people to be extremely unhappy. Actually, I finally gave up an hour later, I think I had put my credit card information in at least 5 different times and nothing…and the day after next I received an email saying my information went through. I freaked, thinking that all of my tries went through and now I had like 6 tickets. After I stopped freaking out I thought this was GREAT because then I could sell them for a profit (hey, I mean I do have an MBA after all…I like doing business and making money…I mean, WHO DOESN’T?!?!?!) Well anyways, thankfully I only had 1 ticket. PHEW! This is the first show that I will actually see by myself and I’m just afraid that the person next to me thinks I’m a freak when I start singing along :)

The song Defying Gravity really kind of defined my year in London. The last week I was there I just listened to it over and over and over again. It's kind of hard to explain, but that’s what I felt like my year in London, in one of the largest and most populated cities in the world, on my own, making ends meet…I was defying gravity. It was an amazing experience and the memories from that year will be held close to my heart for the rest of my life. Nothing can ever top it, it was life defying.

And actually…I’m listening to the soundtrack NOW to get ready for the show!!!!

“THE WIZARD WILL SEE YOU NOW…”

Wicked in London

Gah-linda (extra points if you got the reference!) and Elphaba

The Many Faces of Abbie

I got to spend some time with my precious pup this weekend and I got my Abbie fix in. Now I'm in full on Abbie-withdrawl mode so I thought I'd flip through my pictures of her:) You might not be that interested in seeing my dog, but too freaking bad because I'm writing a post about her!

HAHAH is it wrong to say, but Abbie looks like she's hungover. Its like she's saying "Don't bother me mom...I'm too hungover."

"You talkin to me?!?! ME?"

My favorite place to be...someone's lap

Just me napping with Pinky

Try to get my good side Mom

I'm a pretty princess!


What?

I'm too tired for this crap

FroYo Heaven

I think I’ve found my passion in life and I might know what I want to do for the rest of my life. What’s that you may ask? I am going to realize my true future…and OPEN A FRO-YO FRANCHISE. I kid, I kid. But really, how fantastic could that be?!?!?! I might be 500 pounds, but I’d be 500 pounds, fat, and happy. HAHAHA I mean really, it's a fantastic idea with little to no overhead or cost. I mean, besides the cost of the machines and a few staffers…its got to bring in hand over fist in the summer, enough to get by in the wintertime. How much could some fruit, frozen yogurt and 4 employees cost really?!?! UM HELLO PROFIT MAKER!!!!!!!! Well, the rent may be a bit expensive, but come on. Just LOOK at that beautiful fro-yo right there.

Yes that is:

• Oreo and Cream frozen yogurt
• Chocolate chips
• Oreos
• Marshmallows
• Gummy bears
• Fruit loops (YES!)
• AND FREE HOT FUDGE

What can get better than that?!?!! Hahaha, I may have had 3 glasses of red wine that helped me throw my inhibitions out the window and consuming probably 700 calories in that beauty…but it was well worth it :) Don’t judge!

Spotted on the Metro

Wow, I wasn’t aware they made pants that went up that high…

Man, I L-O-V-E a man who can dress well. I mean, come on! No one dresses that well any more. The only thing that could make this better if he had a bowtie on! I bet he has suspenders on under there…swoooooon! No, I am not gross, I do not find old men attractive, I just love a man who can dress well and own it. I guess it's left over from my year in London where men wore skinny pant suits, pointy shoes, vests and ties….yummy!!!!!

Unlike the man above, this guy is just weird. White seersucker suit, white shoes, and white top hat. Where do you think he's going?

If you can't tell what this picture is of, its a discarded high heel shoe on the opposite grate of the metro track up against the wall. Its not like it accidentally fell off because the door doesn't open against the wall when the metro cars pull up. Somehow it got thrown over there. Man, that sucks!

Girl Crush

Along with my girl crush on Pippa Middleton, I sort of have a girl crush on Emma Watson. It may stem from that one time I saw her walking down Upper Street in London, but it just could be because she is awesome.


While this dress may be a bit fancy for the MTV movie awards, I think Emma stomps on the competition and its a great dress!

Hanner

She was my rock while in London and I could not have asked for a better friend. While I was homesick (god knows why, who knows!) she helped me cope with moving out for the first time, to another country no less, helped me and we had many many many late night conversations about our futures, our scares, our hopes, and our ambitions. She helped quell my anxiety of moving back home and having a reverse culture shock and wondering if I was EVER going to be that happy again and when I would start feeling like I had made it anywhere in life. CONGRATS ON YOUR NEW JOB!!!!!! Well, I know Hannah this isn’t your dream job, but baby, it's a step in the right direction! One day you’ll get there and you can put that Masters from Sotheby’s to good use. And one day when you are super famous for having your own successful art gallery, I can say “I knew her when!” Welcome to the first day towards living your life again!

Bonnaroo

So...the girl who has NEVER camped in her LIFE is going to Bonnaroo, a 4 day Woodstock-esque music festival. ACTUALLY I'M THERE RIIIIGHT NOW. WTF?!?!?!?!

Why you ask? Well, my best friend's boyfriend is going to propose to her and surprise her and take her to Bonnaroo, and the BEST part is that he's secretly asked all of her friends to tag along and go too! Now, if any of you all know me, I'd FREAK if my boyfriend/finance took me to something like this, but Nikki LOVES Bonnaroo and I think this will be her third or fourth time going and its the 10th year anniversary of the festival. So needless to say, I think she's going to love it. Otherwise we as her best friends would have nixed the idea a LONG ASS time ago.

My friend Hannah emailed me the other day to go to a fun urban picnic at a local museum and I sadly had to decline because I said I wouldn't be here. She in return asked me if I was going to be Bonnaroo-ing that weekend. My response:

If you mean baking to death amidst a mosh pit of hippies? Then yes, yes I will. While you'll be in a pretty dress surrounded by green picnic areas I will be living my worst nightmare.

Yep, that's right, me and 100,000 other hippies (I in by NO way am comparing myself to a hippie) will be sweating to death singing along to songs I don't even know the words to. If I could find a way to get away with wearing pretty frilly dresses and big Kentucky Derby-esque hats I would be in hog heaven. Sadly, I do not think that is possible. But on the bright side, I can pay $10 to take a shower. *****SSSSSIIIIIIGGGGGHHHH****** I guess I just need to embrace.

If I don't make it back alive, I bequeath all of my pretty frilly and sparkly stuff to Hannah and all my leftover alcohol to Nikki and Melissa. The rest can be given to charity.